A Sheep's Tale

It's me!

2011-05-02T18:57:00.006+01:00

Relax everyone; it is indeed I, Errol The Sheep. Rumours of my demise have been greatly exagerated.

I know, I know, it's been ages. The problem is, my humans spend such a lot of time on Facebook that it is difficult for me to access the internet these days.

So, what have I been up to?

Well, I moved house last year.

Me and the boys were stuffed into a packing box and left there for some weeks.

A few weeks before the move, I met a nice young lady called Lavender Lamb...

Hello!

Unfortunately, it turned out that young Lavender was a gift for a new baby relation of my humans and she has now gone to live in Birmingham. Sigh.

I have also met some celebrities.

Yes, that is me with Timmy, who appears on television both in "Shaun The Sheep" and his very own show, "Timmy Time". But this is nothing compared to the internet celebrities that I met today!

My humans took me on an outing to North Suffolk by motorbike...

...and just look who I met! Yes, it is Z - North Suffolk's premier blogger. Z blogs every day, which is more than can be said for me or my humans.

Errol meets Z. Also in this photo are the woolly dog versions of two other internet stars, Oz and Lily.

The real Oz (Errol not pictured for fear of being eaten)

I also met Dave (another blogger who manages to blog every day) and who has been helping Z and The Sage to build a wall. The party was in honour of the wall and here I am beside the wall.

An exciting day in bloggy-land.

Baaaaaa!

Moon Sheep dot com

2009-12-19T13:59:00.004Z

I am now such a huge internet superstar that I get to be on the front of Christmas cards; courtesy of a well known internet card supplier.

Alright, it was only four Christmas cards but it's a start. Only three people will have received these cards however, because one of my humans posted one of them without putting an address or a stamp on it. Good grief.

I haven't been online much just lately, but I keep busy. Rory, Moosey, Idris, Ptolemy and myself have been preparing for Christmas. Wrapping presents;

Dressing up in silly paper hats;

And assisting with decorating the tree.

It's a good job that Christmas comes but once a year.

Baaaaa!

Errol Goes West

2009-10-18T15:16:00.026+01:00

Where have I been then?

On holiday with my humans!

We went to a cottage in Gloucestershire.

It was very comfortable.

There was a young lady bear sitting on a bench near the window on the landing.

And ponies in the field at the bottom of the garden.

I was taken for a walk in the Forest of Dean.

I was also taken across the border into Wales, where I visited Tintern Abbey…

…and Chepstow Castle.

I came back from Wales with a new friend…

Idris The Dragon!

Loyal readers (hello Pam and Cheryl) may recall that I myself am named after a dragon (Errol the swamp dragon, from Terry Pratchett’s “Guards! Guards!”) so Sir Bruin decided that a red dragon from Wales would be a fitting companion for me. Her ladyship came up with the name Idris because that was the name of the dragon from the 70s childrens TV Programme, ‘Ivor The Engine’.

Idris and I didn’t always get taken out. Sometimes the humans just forgot us (charming!) but on Thursday and Friday it was raining and as soft toys don’t like to get wet, we had to stay behind in the cottage.

Of course, we did some exploring while the humans were out. We found evidence that someone who is missing an 'r' is running a take-away emporium in my name in the nearby town of Newent.

[You do know that kebabs are made of lamb, don't you Errol? Ed]

We also found a map of Gloucestershire…

…and some pinecones.

The sunshine came out again on Friday afternoon, so I took Idris to see the ponies, but they weren't in their field.

It was soon time to go home. Idris and I said a last farewell to the Gloucestershire countryside as we rode home on the back parcel shelf of Sir Bruin’s car.

When we arrived back in Ipswich, I introduced Idris to the rest of my friends.

Baaaa!

Culture Sheep

2009-08-16T18:38:00.004+01:00

My humans went out without me again yesterday. I don't suppose they went anywhere elegant.

My reader could be forgiven for thinking that I sit about all day watching telly.

Or surfing the internet.

And that when I am taken out it is only to the seaside or the pub. However, I have been known to do a bit of culture. Quite apart from visiting Shakespeare's birthplace (as described here) and Ludlow Castle (more here) earlier this year, I have also been to Burghley House and Cambridge (but I've only got around to blogging about it now. It's a busy life being a sheep.)

Time for some culture.

Admiring the sculpture park at Burghley House.

Beside the River Cam at Cambridge.

On the River Cam, travelling past Kings College on a punt.

Enjoying the sights of Cambridge - Mathematical Bridge, Queens College in the background.

When the Cambridge photos appeared on Facebook recently (it's not too late to join the Friends of Errol The Sheep!), Eddie from Egypt asked if that was where I had been to Ewe-niversity. Nice one!

I don't think a sheep has ever graduated from Cambridge. That would make me ewe-nique!

Any suggestions for a suitable subject for a young sheep to study?

Baa!

Sheep beside the sea side

2009-07-31T09:14:00.010+01:00

It's amazing what can be achieved if you whinge in public (or at least on the internet). I have been taken out twice this week. I will revisit the more cultured of my two outings at a later date, but on Wednesday I was taken to the seaside.

The beach at Dunwich is a bit stoney, as you can see from the photo at the top. There is a bit of sand, but not much. The picture above is of Dunwich beach with the Sizewell nuclear power stations in the distance.

We spent a bit of time on the beach at Dunwich (getting funny looks from other humans who were probably wondering what a sheep was doing at the sea side).

Later we moved along the coast to Walberswick and walked along the River Blyth. We crossed a bridge...

...and then walked back along the Southwold side of the river. When visiting the Southwold area, it is compulsory to sample the local ale.

Mmmm. Adnams.

We crossed the river again by means of a little ferry boat, but I had to stay inside Lady De Minutive's handbag for fear of being blown away. The wind had got up a bit by this time.

Sand dunes at Walberswick.

We eventually ended up in Southwold, on the pier in a really rather brisk breeze. Here is a picture of me with Southwold's iconic lighthouse in the back ground and Sir Bruin's hand preventing me from blowing into the sea in the foreground.

As you can see, the wind was whipping the waves up a bit. Perhaps I should have brought my scarf with me!

Baaa!

Pigs might flu

2009-07-29T10:03:00.015+01:00

So, you may ask, what have I been up to since I last blogged? Well, I certainly haven't been on any outings. My humans have been neglecting me.

But no matter, I can amuse myself. I spend lots of time admiring myself in the mirror in my new scarf.

My friends and I get up to all sorts while the humans are at work.

We can't help noticing that there is a lot of 'flu' content in the news in recent weeks.

A particular type of flu.

Not Lion flu

Not moose flu

Not turtle flu.

And certainly not Sheep Flu.

Nope. Everybody in the human world is talking about swine flu.

There aren't any toy pigs in this household and so far both of the human residents seem to be well, so we're not worried.

I'm not sure why anyone is worried really. According to an internet article I read last week: "In England, the number of people with swine flu symptoms who have consulted their GP is now equivalent to a bad bout of seasonal flu during the winter months - although Wales and Scotland have reported fewer cases." If humans can normally handle the flu without this level of media attention, why is swine flu different? And "The government says up to 12,000 people die every year from seasonal flu." Apparently, the expected level of deaths from swine flu is lower than this number, so why all the fuss?

Obviously, I'm not a heartless sheep and I don't want humans to get ill and die (who'd take me on outings if I didn't have humans to entertain me?) but I do wonder why they get more excited about some things than others.

One of my humans is getting excited about the prospect of acquiring a new shed. Is this any way for her to be spending her holidays? Get a life woman, and take me out somewhere!

Baa!

Fan Mail

2009-06-30T20:03:00.016+01:00

Now that I have become a cult figure on Facebook, I have begun to receive fan mail.

Yes, really - I parcel arrived just yesterday, addressed to me.

Sir Bruin held it up for me to look at.

Yep, that's definitely for me.

I took it out into the garden to open it.

Hooves aren't ideal for opening parcels, especially when the parcel is bigger than the sheep.

The contents were a scarf and a card!

I think I look rather fetching.

The card, and indeed the whole parcel, is from Washington DC.

A hand knitted scarf from my friend Pam in America. Thank you Pam!

I took my present back in doors and showed it off to my friends. I think Ptolemy the Turtle looks a bit jealous.

The colours are very me, don't you think? I may start a new trend for scarves.

Baaaa!

I am a cult!

2009-06-20T14:04:00.003+01:00

It seems I have progressed from the world of blogging into Facebook.

Yes, really. There is a group called Friends of Errol the Sheep and it currently has 17 members.

[what?! There are 15 others as daft as Sir Bruin de Largesse and Lady De Minutive? Ed]

No friends of Moosey or Rory or Ptolemy you'll notice. Just my good self.

I am a legend!

Errol The Steam!

2009-05-28T19:30:00.011+01:00

Last weekend, Sir Bruin de Largesse and Lady De Minutive took me to Linky Land to visit Granny Weatherwax and Mike The Steam.

I was allowed to play with the trains.

To start with, I just rode around in one of the waggons.

Later on, I was allowed to drive the engine!

This particular engine isn't finished yet. When a posh engine came out, I found myself demoted to guard.

Here I am speeding around the track at the back of an engine with real steam coming out of it!

Then another different engine came out and Mike The Steam coupled up some carriages and I went for a ride in one of those. You will note that I didn't get to ride in luxury like the other passengers, but had to hang onto the balcony instead.

Lady De Minutive assures me that this is more luxurious than the Eurostar.

Baa!

A Sheep takes a Shufti at Shropshire

2009-05-20T12:04:00.009+01:00

As I was saying, I actually got taken on a short holiday by Sir Bruin de Largesse and Lady De Minutive last week. We were mostly in Shropshire. On Friday morning we went to Ludlow Castle.

sharp shooting sheep.

inside Mortimer's tower

outside Mortimer's tower

view from the top of the keep

I then spent some time riding around in her ladyship’s pocket while we continued to explore the rather pleasant town of Ludlow. Later, my humans decided to get back in the car and explore some more of Shropshire. So I programmed the sat-nav and off we went.

Our next port of call was Ironbridge Gorge. Here I am near that historic bridge (a wedding party were taking photos nearby and the bride appears to be trying to get into my shot).

I got taken into a cafe at Ironbridge.

And then it rained and I had to get back into her ladyship's pocket so that I didn't get my wool wet. On the way back to our B&B, we detoured into Worcestershire. Here I am trying not to fall into the River Severn at Bewdley.

On Saturday I got left in the car all day while my humans went to a party. And then on Sunday we came home again.

Baa!

Errol on Holiday - part 1

2009-05-17T19:37:00.004+01:00

You may recall that Sir Bruin de Largesse and Lady De Minutive forgot to take me with them when they went to Paris. I was rather upset about this but cheered up considerably on Thursday morning when I found myself sitting on the dash board of Sir Bruin's car.

We set off in a westerly direction. There was a stop for lunch (during which I was left in the car) but the next stop after that was at Stratford-Upon-Avon and this time I was allowed out of the car. Here I am outside the birthplace of William Shakespeare:

"To ~~sleep~~ sheep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub".

After riding around in Sir Bruin's pocket and seeing some of the sights, we got back into the car and drove into Shropshire. We then spent two nights in a B&B just outside Ludlow. We had a very nice room where there was a small teddy bear in residence:

He looks rather theatrical in that hat, don't you think? Maybe he belongs to the Royal Shakesbear Company.

We spent two nights here and very nice it was too. The B&B was a converted barn with lots of old, exposed beams.

Our room had it's own staircase:

It was all very charming.

I am in this photograph, although I have blended into the wall rather well.

On Friday, I got taken out and photographed all over Shropshire (and once in Worcestershire too). I'll blog about that another day.

Sheep Memes Are Made of This

2009-05-10T21:14:00.005+01:00

I notice that human bloggers seem quite keen on these meme thingies, so I thought I’d have a go at one myself.

What is the first car you drove (legally)?

Well, legally, sheep can’t drive. But, as I noted in a previous post, Hamsters seem to manage it.

How many colours has your hair been?

I’ve got wool, not hair, and it’s a nice creamy colour.

Have you ever been fired?

I think you’d have to be a pretty bad sheep (or indeed toy) to get the sack. Anyway, I’m not actually in paid employment.

What do you sing in the shower?

Sheep are not known for showering, but if I ever get a trip to a sheep dip, I might indulge in a bar or two of “It had to be ewe”.

If you could be any celebrity, who would you be?

Shaun The Sheep, obviously. I admire him because he has his own TV show and he has worked with that Oscar winning acting genius, Gromit.

Who was your favourite teacher and why?

I’m a sheep. I didn’t go to school.

If you have a nickname, what is it? If not, what would you like it to be?

No, I don’t.

What would the title of the movie about your life be?

Is “A Sheep’s Tail” too obvious?

Who was your first crush?

You remember that party I had? Well, there was a blonde doll there who looked sort of nice. I don’t know her name though.

However, I noticed her eyeing up Rory the Lion at one point.

The next time I saw her, she was snogging a guinea pig

I went off her a bit after that [I’m sure that guinea pig used to be female – Ed.] So as crushes go, this one was short lived.

Do you believe in Karma?

Isn’t that a curry?

What is your very earliest memory?

Sitting on a shelf in the gift shop at Helmsley Castle

Is there any animal/creature that creeps you out?

I’m not keen on wombats. The one that lives in Lady de Minutive’s dining room is a scary bugger.

Which is the place you’ve never been that you’d most like to visit?

I had hoped to be taken to Paris but Sir Bruin and Lady Diminutive went without me. Anywhere would be nice.

New Recruit

2009-04-21T17:58:00.004+01:00

They went off and left me again at the weekend. What happened to all those promised outings? Think of all the photo opportunities they've missed!

You could, dear reader, have been looking at photographs of Errol at the Sea Life Centre. Instead, you can meet my new friend:

His name is Ptolemy and he is a turtle. Sir Bruin bought him as a present for Lady De Minutive. I can't imagine why she would want any more toys when she already has me and Moosey and Rory (and all those moth eaten old toys in the back bedroom) but anyway, the three muska-toys are now a gang of four.

How Could They?

2009-03-27T19:44:00.001Z

They went without me! I was promised a trip on the Eurostar to Paris and when I woke up on Tuesday morning, Sir Bruin and Lady De Minutive had naffed off to Paris without me.

Baaaaa-stards!

A Quote About Sheep

2009-02-05T19:51:00.003Z

Errol does some research.

"I am more afraid of an army of a hundred sheep led by a lion than an army of a hundred lions lead by a sheep."

Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord

Hmm. I suspect that when he made this comment, he probably didn't mean a flock of toy sheep lead by a lion dude with a green mane.

Wouldn't it be awfully good fun to take a time machine back a couple of hundred years and bring the learned men of the time into the 21st century? I wonder what on earth they would make of it all? From what I have read today, I reckon Monsieur Talleyrand was a forward thinker and would have fit right in.

Prior to discovering this quote in the "QI Book of Advanced Banter" (interesting quotes about sheep are hard to find, don't you think?), I'd never heard of this bloke. So, I've looked him up on t'internet and it seems he was a French diplomat (some might say that is an oxymoron) during the late 18th and early 19th centuries. Despite being an aristocrat during the reign of Louis XVI, Talleyrand survived the French Revolution (probably because he sided with the revolutionists) and continued his career under Napoleon. Indeed, a book about him is actually titled 'Napoleon's Master' so he must have been an important part of the Napoleonic government. He was also a believer in the constitutional monarchy and went on to serve as Louis XVIII's Foreign Minister after the restoration and was later the ambassador to London for King Louis Philippe. It seems that a childhood injury rendered him unfit for military service, so he found his way into public life via studying for the priesthood. Although appointed to the position of Bishop of Autun (a position he later resigned) Talleyrand objected to having to join the clergy in order to obtain a suitable place in society and spent a lot of time studying the works of historians, poets and moralists and later went on to write some books of his own.

I haven't discovered exactly when Monsieur Talleyrand made the sheep related comment at the top of this blog, so I cannot hazard a guess as to which of the many rulers who controlled France during his lifetime he had in mind for his lion.

I have heard my owners discussing the possibility of a trip to France next month. I am hopeful of finding a small sheep-sized space in one of their suitcases.

I don't care what Moosey says about being Canadian (I think he was made in China, same as me) and being able to speak the language, he'd take up more room in the case so they're more likely to take me.

Sheep Dreams are Made of This

2009-01-28T19:37:00.003Z

This is me at the wheel of a Horch 830 BL, a rather nice old German motor built in the 1930’s. It has an 8 valve engine and a top speed of around 75mph. Just the thing for a young sheep about town. I wish.

What are you laughing at? If Hamsters can drive, I don’t see why sheep can’t!

Picture of Richard Hammond from Top Gear website

Party Time!

2009-01-22T20:00:00.030Z

Recently, when I was taken downstairs to be photographed, I noticed that there was still some drink and nibbles left over from Christmas.

That's not Black Sheep Ale.

So, last night myself and Moosey sneaked downstairs while her ladyship was asleep and had ourselves a bit of a party.

Clearly, just the two of us wouldn’t be much of a party, so we invited some of the toys that live in the back bedroom. (Considering the owner of this house is a childless, adult woman in her 40’s, there are a suspicious number of toys and dolls lurking around).

We made sure we invited some birds:

I don’t fancy yours much!

We bought Rory along to act as a bouncer. The wombat that lives in the dining room doesn’t like visitors.

Sorry dude, no wombats.

Even a wombat isn’t going to argue with a large psychedelic lion sporting a green mane, so he was soon on his way.

(Is it me, or does that doll look impressed at Rory seeing off the wombat? Damn! I wish I was a butch sheep.)

Moosey put on some sounds:

We couldn’t find any Ewe2 in her ladyship’s CD collection (no taste, that woman). We found some Ewe-rythmics though.

And we partied all night!

Well, some of us partied for longer than others. Not all toys can take their liquor.

Henry never could take his drink, which is possibly why he is wearing incontinence pants. Mind you, he’s not the only one looking the worse for drink!

We’re feeling a bit hung over today!

An Outing!

2009-01-18T16:00:00.008Z

After reading my previous blog post, Sir Bruin ~~threatened~~ promised me a trip up the garden. However, today he did better than that and I went with him and Lady De Minutive for a walk along Nacton Shore.

This is me hanging around by the front door waiting to go out. I'm sorry about the bluish hue to this photograph, but that dozy woman had her camera on the wrong setting.

Obviously, I am a very small sheep and I only have little legs, so I didn't actually do any walking. Instead, I hitched a ride in her ladyship's coat pocket.

I didn't spent the whole afternoon travelling by pocket though. Here I am down by the River Orwell enjoying some sunshine.

It's a lovely spot.

Hello!

2009-01-15T17:28:00.014Z

My name is Errol and I am a very small toy sheep. I have previously appeared on the internet in other people’s blogs and also on their facebook accounts.

I think I come from Yorkshire, although the label sticking out of my arse tells a different story.

Made in China? Surely not!

I was bought from the gift shop at Helmsley Castle, along with a bottle of mead and some bramble, liqueur by a bloke calling himself Sir Bruin (I have reason to suspect that this is not his real name as he is sometimes also known as Cuthbert Fortesque-Todger). I was then given as a gift to his girlfriend, who is known as Lady De Minutive.

She made a terrible fuss of me to start with and I was allowed to ride on the dashboard as I was driven from Yorkshire to my new home in Suffolk. I was promised lots of outings but I haven’t even been up the bloody garden yet!

I live in her ladyship’s bedroom with Moosey the moose (who came from Vancouver and had to travel home in a suitcase – ha!) and Rory who was won in a raffle and is allegedly a lion. Before Sir Bruin came along, Moosey lived on a pillow on her ladyship’s bed for two years.

I am a bit jealous of Moosey’s former standing because I only get to sleep on the bottom of this mirror.

However, I now have my own blog, so read it and weep moose!

I have left the front bedroom on a number of occasions for photo shoots and here are some of my pictures.

I arrest ewe in the name of the law!

I saw three sheeps come sailing in

Christmas was quite jolly and Sir Bruin made me my own little party hat.

Tune in again sometime to see if I actually get to do anything interesting!